Toxic Friendships | Being Friends with People like Alison Dilaurentis

Toxic friendships are a topic that I find extremely important to talk about. It is absolutely heartbreaking to have seen so many people fall victim to them. I narrowly missed getting myself into one a few times. In case you weren't aware, a toxic friendship is a friendship that is emotionally or physically taxing and makes one feel worse rather than better. 

When I think of a toxic friendship, I see more a parasitic type of relationship because all it does is drain the other party's happiness. That's why I consider the girls of Pretty Little Liars to have a toxic friendship with Alison. Neither party is truly happy.

Like I said earlier, I narrowly missed a toxic friendship myself. I feel as though many girls are taught that girl drama is completely natural and it's just a part of growing up but I would like to disagree. I am disappointed to live in a society where girls hurting other girls is "normal". And because I was taught by society to feel this way, I didn't really think much of it when I started getting into some girl drama myself. 

Five years later, elementary school and fifth grade seems so far away. But I still remember how one day, a new girl came to school and seemingly all of my friends flocked to her and I followed. But I guess she didn't want me anywhere near her because she was constantly rude and often tried to embarrass me in front of all of my classmates. I told my teacher because that's what my teachers always told me to do when bullied but my teacher passed it off by saying that I "was being too sensitive" and I was heartbroken that she would treat me that way but I guess it was halfway through the year so I sucked it up and continued being "friends" with the new girl.

I continued that way until the year was ending when I found some really good friends but middle school was worse. I kept putting myself into friendships that led me to act out toward other friends that I cared about and that cared about me. And for that I apologize. After seventh grade ended and I moved to a different school thinking that I was free. I kept in contact with them for a little while but I quickly stopped when I realized how much I didn't need them and they made it obvious too. They told me to stop talking to them and I could not have been more relived. 

The next three years have been great and I have been so happy with the friendships that I have and the only regrets that I have are that I didn't stop the friendships sooner. At the time I didn't know what a toxic friendship was.

Signs that You Might Be in a Toxic Friendship:

1) You are forced to become someone you're not/don't want to be. 

The best friendships push you to be the best version of yourself NOT the worst. 

2) They need you all the time.

In a good friendship, it is normal to rely on each other for support and help but someone who sticks to you constantly and is draining is toxic.

3) They emotionally or physically hurt you.

Physical violence is extremely toxic and not justifiable. However, most girl drama is much sneakier and less obvious and takes place emotionally. Things like guilting, pointing out insecurities, name calling and shaming are all toxic.

Those are the three main signs of a toxic friendship. But they are not to say that if a "friend" does one of these things, they are toxic. Everyone has a bad day and one offense (other than physical violence which is NOT ACCEPTABLE) does not mean that the person is toxic but if anything happens constantly or more then you are comfortable, they are. The best judge of whether a friendship is toxic is to see how you feel while in that relationship. If you feel happy, supported and loved, then the relationship most likely is not toxic but if you are scared, depressed or miserable, the relationship is probably toxic.

I have seen so many toxic friendships, ones where when of my current friends found herself in a relationship where everything was about her toxic friend and that friend demanded constant attention.

This does not mean that toxic friends can't change but rather they have too much going on that they need to work out on their own that it's best to stay away. I have had a few of those toxic friends that have reached out to me years later and although we aren't great friends, there are no hard feelings. Some of these friends haven't reached out at all and I think I'm okay with that too.

Leave your opinions and experiences with toxic friends in the comments because I would love to get to know how you plan on overcoming bad friendships, if you did, or you have been lucky enough to have never had to experience that before.

The Ultimate Sniffle Kit

Now that the flu has reached epidemic levels in multiple U.S. states. In 46 of the 50 states, the flu is considered to be widespread. And the most shocking part of this statistic is that the flu vaccine only 23% effective in preventing the flu. For most people, the flu causes fatigue, pain and is draining but the flu can really take its toll on young child and the elderly.

When walking into school for the past week, I can physically see how many of my classmates have been gone with either the stomach bug (which is also going around) or the flu. In fact, many people of my household have also come down with flu.

Seeing how draining it can be, I not only created a kit of supplies to use if I ever get the flu rather than having to hunt it down when its too late but also I made it to share with my family. Since I prefer to use the minimum amount of medicine, its means I have to stop the flu when it starts.

I did some research and decided to share it with all of you.

Supplies to Tackle the Flu at home:

Tissues:

This one is obvious but you would be surprised because so many people sniffle. Sitting in the middle of a math test with someone sniffling every thirty seconds is frustrating since it is distracting for others and not good for you. Keeping your sinuses congested when you don't have to can only hurt you and make the cold or flu last longer.
I choose this tissue (Kleenex Slim Pack)in particular because it is perfect on the go and soft. From personal experience, when you have a cold, your nose can get irritated and this brand of tissues can be trusted.

Hand sanitizer/Disinfecting Wipes:
Obviously, the hand sanitizer is important to prevent flu (and as an added bonus, get one that smells nice) but using disinfecting wipes is just considerate for others. Using disinfecting wipes on doorknobs, telephones and television remotes should be done often since those places are known to be the most infectious of household items.

Liquids (water or tea):
Liquids are a weird thing to have since you can't have too much but too little is dangerous. Without water, fighting the flu with minimum medicine is difficult but too much of it will make you bloated and too much water/liquids can mess with your water and saline levels (which in extreme cases can lead to death but that's only in EXTREME cases).

Light Foods:
These usually include saltines and rice. With the stomach bug also at large, usually that's the best thing to eat without stressing out your body while still getting enough energy.

Chapstick:

With a nose that is clogged up, many people suddenly became mouth breathers which can dry out your lips. Dry, cracked lips on top of a flu is an awful experience. I personally recommend Carmex.

I hope this helps and I know it has helped me when I have had the flu in the past and I am currently using some of this techniques to help make sure that I don't get it this year. Please feel free to leave your experiences with the flu and what you use to make sure to don't catch it.

Pinterest Finds #1 | Jan 15 2015

I have decided to create a semi-regular post on my current favorite ideas, photos, and items on Pinterest. Pinterest is such a gold mine for inspiration and I would love to share some of the great things I came across.

Click on the bold header for each picture to see the pin.

Favorite Inspiration Hair Color:

I am absolutely in love with this lovely shade of lavender since it is so unique and different. I am always a bit shy to try new things with my hair (even just a new style) so maybe this will inspire me to try something new.

Favorite Killer Pair of Sunnies:

Maybe this is more wishful thinking because I wear glasses which means that I can't wear sunglasses unless I want to stumble throughout the day but that doesn't mean that I can't dream.

Favorite Pair of High Waisted Shorts:

What a different take on a pair of high-waisted shorts! The bow is such a unique touch and I would love to try it on.

Favorite Place to Dream of Traveling to:

What's there not to love about Spain? From the colors to the culture to the midday siestas. I would love to travel there.

Favorite Yoga Pose:

I maybe not be this flexible yet but I can certainly try. This pin shows the perfect posture and balance to strive for.

That's about it for this post! If you aren't already, follow me on Pinterest.

The Dark Divine by Bree Despain

I was browsing my local library when I stumbled upon this book. I pulled it off of the shelf to read the description and suddenly became excited by its suspenseful plot.

General Plot:
The novel is centered around Grace Divine who comes back into contact with her childhood friend and love interest in the novel, Daniel. Despite her parents' and brother's warnings begging her to stop contacting him, Grace cannot help herself from trying to get closer to him. She recognizes the mysterious event that happened before between Daniel and her brother Jude which promptly led to Daniel's disappearance but she wonders what had caused it. As her relationship with Daniel grows, she learns about his secret and the wolf within him.

This novel did have a bit of a different take on werewolves which I did appreciate, however, the new ideas that the book had about being a wolf were not explained well enough for the reader to have an easy time following along.

The Dark Divine was suspenseful and hard to put down since the plot was so detailed and fast paced with little to no slow or boring parts.

I did like that bit of mystery that the book tries to include which made this novel so much more than a cheesy romance.

My main concern for this book is the lack of good characters. I love a main character with an easy to follow way of thinking. Unfortunately, Graze fell short of being the ideal heroine due to her lack of a genuine inner voice and emotion. Daniel and Jude were very frustrating characters but for different reasons. Jude was frustrating because he didn't grow at all as a character and was flat while Daniel was not relatable and confusing.

My Final Thoughts:
I did like this book quite a bit because it was a good read. Hopefully the following novels of the series will fix the issues that I had with the first one.

Now, I am not a big fan of the book trailer but maybe it will help you decide whether or not to read the book.

Selfie's Cancellation

Selfie is a show revolving around Eliza who realizes that she has more Facebook friends than real ones so she goes to Henry, a marketing genius with whom she works with in hopes of becoming more likable. The entire premise of the show revolves around Eliza learning how to interact with others in a more professional and kind manner while Henry unintentionally learns how to be less of a workaholic and have more fun. The general plot is inspired by the musical My Fair Lady.

In late September, the show Selfie premiered and just two months ago the show was canceled. I can't say that I am particularly surprised by this since I assumed that the show would have a very short run time anyway but I am disappointed that the show barely had a chance to get its feet off of the ground before being shut down.

I did get very frustrated throughout the season since the romance with Eliza and Henry kept being pushed away which is accurate since almost the same thing happened in My Fair Lady.

I did like the general messages of the show which is to strike balance between work and play and get out of your comfort zone and meet new people, just to name a few. I did find some of the characters to be entertaining and humorous. The snappy remarks were excellent and memorable.

 I also did like the message that you could be anyone you wanted to be which is shown through Eliza's transformation from being "butt" to the internet-famous person that she is today (although she did lose touch with a big part of her life outside of the internet.) The television show was bright and colorful like any good comedy show should be.

However, I do have to point out the shortcomings of the show. Eliza wasn't the most likable of characters (which was the point) but it wasn't the actress's fault at all. However, I do think that most of the characters were overacted but maybe that was what they were going for.

And the plot in general was very circular. Eliza and Henry start to fall in love then they start dating other people and it seems like the show is going forward in the slowest pace ever. The plot of every single episode was rarely ever even present or relevant for that matter.

ABC eventually canceled the show which, despite its sufficient number of viewers, held embarrassingly low ratings and the end was inevitable.

Even though I did see its cancelation coming, I am sad to see it go so soon and not after giving its audience a nice goodbye. I do recommend that you check out this show to see how you feel about it and if you have already seen it, what do you think of it? All of the episodes (in case you did want to watch it) are available on Hulu.

Infinity Dreams Award

I am so excited to be nominated for this award. Thank you so much to Giselle for being so kind and nominating me. Her blog is literally the best and I absolutely love reading it so you should check it out.

The rules are:

1) Thank and follow the blog that has nominated you.

2) Tell us 11 facts about you.

3) Answer the questions that were set up for you.

4) Nominate 11 and make your questions for them.

11 facts about me:

1) I am an aspiring journalist. I have always wanted to be a journalist ever since I was seven and I still want to be one almost a decade later. 

2) Shopping alone is one of the scariest things ever. I need a friend with me constantly or else I might get lost, buy more than I need, or buy less than I need. Plus, the malls just look more daunting when you have to tackle them alone.

3) As you probably can already tell, I prefer "#)" instead of "#." whenever I am making a numbered list. I'm not sure exactly why but probably because it creates a more concrete border between the number and the rest.

4) I always paint my nails whenever I watch a movie. This does not mean that I every time I watch a movie, I redo my nails but rather that whenever I want to paint them, I put in a movie as well. Two birds with one stone.

5) My favorite type of weather is hot and sunny. Imagine the type of weather in Florida where it is really humid and bright. I love warm weather which is why winter is such a sad season for me.

6) I am personally more of a pepsi than coke person. I have yet to figure out why because I probably can't even tell the difference between them and I will still drink coke if offered. (shrug)

7) I absolutely cannot watch anything horror movie related by myself. Even the movie trailers give me the jitters. Imagine my face every time The Woman in Black 2 trailer is ever on. I can watch them when I am around other people though so I don't have to miss out on the movies.

8) I like to keep almost all of the birthday cards I receive. Sometimes I even keep Thank You cards or anything else I find particularly considerate.

9) My favorite flavor of ice cream is mint chocolate chip. 

10) I would love to go to school every single day as long as there weren't any tests and grades were based on effort and attitude.

11) I have never tried sushi before. I have absolutely no idea why but I guess the time never presented itself.


Now to answer questions about myself:

1) Strange reading habit?
    I literally will not read two books at once. I won't even read a paragraph until I have finished the first book I was reading.

2) Who would be your book best friend and why?
    This is a surprisingly tough question to answer but I would probably want to be best friends with Cath from Fangirl or Q from Papertowns because they both seem interesting and enough like me to relate to without being too much like me.

3) The perfect day would consist of...
    A massive movie marathon, cookies and blogging.

4) What's one embarrassing moment from school?
     I (surprisingly) have not had many embarrassing moments from high school but middle school was full of them. Once we had to recite a poem in front of the class and I forgot what I was supposed to say so I started tearing up and then I was asked what was wrong so I really started crying. Man, sixth grade.

5) What's something that always makes you happy?
    Both giving and receiving compliments.

6) If your life was a musical, what would be a theme song?
    Run the World (Girls) by Beyonce. I love Beyonce so much but I don't think that I would run the world however, the idea of all girls running the world is definitely awesome.

7) What did you want when you were a kid?
    Ever since I was little, I have always wanted to drive but now that I can, I am not.

8) 2015 goals?
    I mentioned them in my post 2015 New Year's Resolutions and in case you were wondering, I have been following through on them.

9) What would be your patronus?
    As shameful as it is, I have not read Harry Potter. But a Buzzfeed quiz can probably fix that. And as it turns out mine is a doe. I have no idea if that is bad or good but maybe you can tell me?

10) What does your life look like in 20 years?
      Wow, my mind hurts from thinking about this question. With a successful career.

11) Who is your idol and why?
      I don't think I have any one idol but rather many that I am inspired by. But I would have to choose Oprah because of her ability to break all the barriers and gain success because of her intelligence and personality.


My nominees:

1) Suzii
2) Sara
3) Dany
4) Jenna
5) Lily
6) Celeste
7) Emily
8) Karla
9) Kate
10) Erin
11) Helen


My questions for the nominees:

1) What is the best compliment you have ever gotten?
2) What is the best way to dry your hair: natural, towel, or blow dry?
3) Do you know any good jokes?
4) If you could only shop at one store, what store would that be?
5) What is one language that you want to learn the most?
6) Are you left or right handed? Or both?
7) What's your favorite condiment?
8) What is your favorite social media account?
9) Is crying a sign of weakness or strength?
10) Which is more useful, dictionary or thesaurus?
11) Most important quality to have?

Anyway, thanks to Giselle again for the nomination and I hope others get to do it as well!